I Say, I Say, I Say… It’s Tell a Joke Day!

Do you always have a joke ready to tell? One that makes everyone groan because it’s so corny? Or are you more like me and can never remember a joke, or worse, you start to tell a joke and then when you get to the punchline your mind goes blank and it’s totally forgotten?

Well August 16th is Tell a Joke Day. So it’s time to learn a great joke, or perhaps a really terrible joke, as really those are the best ones. Then get out and about and tell your joke to anyone who will listen! Tell the person sat next to you on the bus. Entertain someone in a queue, or simply annoy your friends and family!

Lacking in inspiration? Has everyone already heard all your jokes?

Well fear not… here are some motoring jokes for you to learn and share. Go on… spread the joy!

My wife bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

What do you call A Ford Fiesta that has run out of petrol?

A Ford Siesta!

What happens when frogs park on double yellow lines?

They get toad away!

What’s the collective noun for cars?

A clutch.

Two drivers driving along a road looking for a place to stop and have a picnic.
The first driver says, “Let’s stop here, and have our picnic under that tree.”
The other one says, “No! Let’s have it right here in the middle of the road.”

They fought for a bit, but finally agreed to have it in the middle of the road.
All of a sudden, a car comes speeding towards them and has to swerve into the tree to keep from hitting them.
The second driver says, “See? If we were under that tree, we’d be dead now!”

What do you call a person who draws pictures of cars?

A car-toonist!

How do you make your car drive over water?

Take the bridge!

What’s the only thing wrong with the perfect drive to work?

You end up at work!

What did one traffic light say to the other traffic light?

Don’t look now, I’m changing!

What do you call a funny motorbike?

A Yamahahaha

Where do cars get the most flat tyres?

When there’s a fork in the road!