Have a laugh with our driving related jokes

Motoring Jokes

It’s spring, the sun is out, it’s time to liven up, and of course, we’re here to help! They may make you laugh, or they may make you groan, but for what they’re worth, here’s our favourite pick of driving jokes…

What happens when a frog parks in a no-parking space?
It gets toad away

A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub.
Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours.

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks

I walked into a car showroom last night.
I said to the salesman, “My wife would like to talk to you about the Volkswagen Golf in the window.”
He said, “We don’t have a Volkswagen Golf in the window.”
I said, “You do now.” 

What snakes are found on cars?
Windshield vipers

What do you say to a cow that crosses in front of your car?
Mooo-ve over.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen.
It said, ‘Parking Fine.’
So that was nice.

What did the jack say to the car?
A. “Can I give you a lift?”

Scotland’s friendliest motorway?

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A. A Yamahahaha!